How Australia am I???

I found this article on the web to judge how Australian I am. I think I am losing my Australianess... See how many of the statements below you understand...


+ You know the meaning of 'girt'
+ You believe that stubbies can either be worn or drunk
+ You think it is normal to have a Prime Minister named Kevin
+ You waddle when you walk due to the 53 expired petrol discount vouchers stuffed in your wallet or purse
+ You've made a bong out of your garden hose rather than use it for something illegal such as watering the garden in the middle of the day
+ When you hear that an American 'roots for his team' you wonder how often and with whom
+ You understand that the phrase 'a group of women wearing black thongs' refers to footwear
+ You pronounce Melbourne as 'Mel-bin'
+ You pronounce Penrith as 'Pen-riff'
+ You believe the 'L' in the word ' Australia ' is optional
+ You can translate: 'Dazza and Shazza played Acca Dacca on the way to Maccas'
+ You believe it makes perfect sense for a nation to decorate its highways with large fibreglass bananas, prawns and sheep
+ You call your best friend 'a total bastard' but someone you really, truly despise is just 'a bit of a bastard'
+ You think 'Woolloomooloo' is a perfectly reasonable name for a place
+ You believe it makes sense for a country to have a $1 coin that's twice as big as its $2 coin
+ You understand that 'Wagga Wagga' can be abbreviated to 'Wagga' but 'Woy Woy' can't be called 'Woy'
+ You believe that cooked-down axlegrease makes a good breakfast spread
+ You believe all famous Kiwis are actually Australian, until they stuff up, at which point they again become Kiwis
+ You know, whatever the tourist books say, that no one says 'cobber'
+ You believe, as an article of faith, that the confectionery known as the Wagon Wheel has become smaller with each passing year
+ You still don't get why the 'Labor' in 'Australian Labor Party' is not spelt with a 'U
+ You wear ugh boots outside the house
+ You believe that the more you shorten someone's name the more you like them
+ Whatever your linguistic skills, you find yourself able to order takeaway fluently in every Asian language
+ You understand that 'excuse me' can sound rude, while 'scuse me' is always polite
+ You know what it's like to swallow a fly, on occasions via your nose
+ You understand that 'you' has a plural and that it's 'youse'
+ You know it's not summer until the steering wheel is too hot to handle
+ You biggest family argument over the summer concerns the rules of beach cricket
+ You shake your head in horror when companies try to market what they call 'Anzac cookies'
+ You still think of Kylie as 'that girl off Neighbours'
+ When returning home from overseas, you expect to be brutally strip-searched by Customs - just in case you're trying to sneak in fruit
+ You believe the phrase 'smart casual' refers to a pair of black tracky-daks, suitably laundered
+ You understand that all train timetables are works of fiction
+ When working at a bar, you understand male customers will feel the need to offer an excuse whenever they order low-alcohol beer
+ You get choked up with emotion by the first verse of the national anthem and then have trouble remembering the second
+ You find yourself ignorant of nearly all the facts deemed essential in the government's new test for migrants.